What to Do If You Like Your Best Friend
Don't know what to do if you like your best friend? If you feel something more than friendship for your male buddy, you are not alone. A recent survey showed that around 75 percent of men are attracted to their female friends while around 66 percent of women feel something special for their male friend.
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The biggest dilemma for a friend who's falling in love with a friend is whether to make a move to elevate the friendship (granted of course, that both of you are still single and available) or to leave the friendship as it is.
Here are some opinions from relationship experts:
1. Enjoy the Friendship
If you are not sure whether the feeling is mutual, better enjoy the friendship as it is. There is a big risk in admitting your feelings if you are not sure how your friend will react. You may end up broken-hearted and worse of all; you may even lose the friendship. Why not just enjoy a platonic relationship because after all, you might not be a hundred percent sure of your own feelings too. For all you know, you may just be attracted to your friend because you are compatible in so many ways. (Birds of a feather flock together, remember?)
2. Go For It!
If your friendship is relatively new, there isn't much to lose if you admit your feelings. If the other person feels the same way, then you can work at a love/friendship relationship right away. After all, don't they say that you should be your romantic partner's friend at the same time? At least you won't be wasting time trying to get to know one another on different levels. Now, if the other person does not feel the same as you do, then he can suggest that you just stay as friends--which can be fine too.
3. Prepare for the Worst
Should you decide to admit your feelings and it the person tells you that it's only friendship that he can offer, then decide once and for all if you can handle that. Remember that he can now see through you. He can put malice in everything you do. On the other hand, even if he says he just wants you as a friend, he can take advantage of how you feel. He can seduce you and leave you broken-hearted. It is best for your own interest to decide if you can settle for friendship alone or if you want to end the friendship once and for all.
4. How Deep Is The Friendship?
If you have been friends for a long time and your friendship is deeper than your other friendships, then you should proceed carefully. There is too much risk in bringing a new element to the relationship. Be sure of your feelings before you make any move. Keep in mind that it is very hard--impossible in some cases--to bring back a friendship to the way it used to be, once the boundary line is crossed. Think ahead. Picture your relationship and your friend in different scenarios. That may help you in analyzing your feelings and then deciding what to do.
5. How Long Will It Last?
Even if you decide to open up and even if you both decide to elevate the friendship into a romantic relationship, you are not yet assured of happiness. Once you add commitment to the relationship, you are bound to get disappointed. One or both Of you will no longer be able to live up to the other's expectations. Also, knowing each other more intimately may remove the mystery that adds magic to your personalities. After you've had sex for several times, the magic may no longer be there. Think what will happen to you. He can always look for another girl, but you will be left more depreciated than he is! What do you prefer now - to maintain the mystery and respect while enjoying the closeness of a friendship or to enjoy a while of total bliss only to end up alone and lonely?
6. Consider the Adjustments
The shift from friendship to romantic ma% be difficult. It could be uncomfortable, even embarrassing. Let us say you are used to spending on your own. By being a couple, will his ego allow you to be as financially independent as you want to be? What about your individual pursuits and relationships'? You will now prioritize each other over your other friends. You will ask permission to go with other guys and he with other girls. It helps if you will openly discuss these issues before you agree to shift from being mere friends to being a couple.
At the other end of the spectrum is the advantage that because you started as friends, you know each other through and through. As friends, you did not have to impress one another. You showed your true colors but in spite of that, you still accepted each other - flaws and all. That makes it easier to relate to one another on a deeper level. It is also likely that you know one another's relatives and other friends as well as each other's secrets, goals and preferences. If you're so compatible, you may even see yourself in one another. These are just some valuable tips on what to do if you like your best friend.
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